Pet Sematary: Bloodlines movie review - Aussieboyreviews
DOES PET SEMATARY: BLOODLINES FLOW SMOOTHLY WITH THE STORY?
Sometimes dead is better, especially in the case of movie franchises and sequels. This terrible prequel could’ve at least made sense with or contribute to the timeline in an interesting way, but it doesn’t. It’s boring, silly and careless.
In 1969 Ludlow, Maine, a young Jud Crandall dreams of escaping his hometown with his girlfriend Norma. But when he makes the discovery of some sinister secrets, he is forced to confront a dark family history and bands together with his childhood friends to fight against an ancient evil.
Director: Lindsey Anderson Beer
Cast: Jackson White, David Duchovny, Jack Mulhern, Natalie Alyn Lind, Isabella Star LaBlanc, Forrest Goodluck, Pam Grier, Henry Thomas
Writer: Lindsey Anderson Beer, Jeff Buhler
Release Date (Australia): 6 October 2023
Runtime: 87 minutes/1h 27m
Genre: Horror, Thriller, Fantasy
CONTENT GUIDE (warning: May contain spoilers)
The film features supernatural sense of threat, animal attacks, references to suicide and a brief scene of cannibalism.
There are multiple scenes that feature bloody depictions of stabbings, shootings and animal attacks.
The film includes occasional use of the word “f**k”, as well as the words “s**t”, “damn” and “hell”.
The film includes verbal drug references and scenes in which characters are depicted smoking a marijuana joint.
R (for horror violence, gore and language)
Aussie boy's thoughts
If it means watching Pet Sematary: Bloodlines again, you probably won’t wanna be buried in a pet sematary. Why not treat yourself this year for Halloween by avoiding this mess and taking the time to pick something else? This is one of those movies that you hear about, see the poster for and immediately ask: what were they thinking? Is this really necessary? Who in their right minds came up with the idea of this? Bloodlines centres on a young Jud Crandall, and tells the story of… well… a whole bunch of crazy stuff happening around him during the time period.
Coming from an unpopular opinion with no real hatred towards remakes, reboots, sequels, prequels or spin-offs, it’s undeniable that this is a completely catastrophe of a movie, founded by an average idea. It’s filled with so many ridiculous plot holes and dumb circumstances, that it becomes difficult to watch without wondering why the project was even taken up in the first place. For where credit’s due though, the film actually has a pretty interesting first act that moves smoothly, and it’s competently made in terms of how the shots look, how the camera works and the fact that the actors actually do somewhat of a decent job, but that’s pretty much all that’s good about it.
Everything wrong with Pet Sematary: Bloodlines can pretty much be summed down to most of the writing and whoever the hell came up with the idea. It feels very much like the writers had a bunch of “cool” horror movie ideas that they wanted to just put out there, but a bunch of stupid clichés crammed into one is how it turned out to be. There’s also a few scenes where you can tell they’re sort of trying to add some emotions with the characters, but those deeper feelings are never explored further, so all of the emotional crap feels very forced and unnecessary.
Remember how the original adaptation in 1989 and the 2019 remake both offer brief, yet multiple references to the events that occurred in the past of supporting character Jud Crandall? Well you can toss all of that aside; nearly none of it applies here or is given second thought, providing the film with even more logical issues and missed opportunities than it already had. This is a movie that’s so bad, you can barely even have fun with it because it takes its stupidity staggeringly seriously. The characters are unlikable, there’s nobody to care about, and overall, it’s another classic example of Pet Sematary’s quote of why “sometimes dead is better”.
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